💭 The Myth of Laziness
Perfect! I have the whole day to work on editing my videos.
This was my exact thought going into a non-committed, totally free Saturday morning AND afternoon. I sat down 4 different times on Saturday to edit my videos, and each time I felt my head get foggy, and a spacey feeling run across my forehead affecting my vision and my mental acuity. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t just “power through”. A whole Saturday came and went, and yet, my videos were still not edited.
Have you ever been like me on that Saturday morning, staring at your to-do list, knowing exactly what needs to be done… but you just can’t bring yourself to get up and do it. OR maybe you doom scroll, or procrastinate, putting other tasks in front of the more meaningful task you’re avoiding until you’ve run out of time and energy to complete it.
And that’s when Your St*ck, the limiting belief you tell yourself, comes online:
“I am SO lazy.”
I could have easily entered the shame spiral of self-condemnation, calling myself lazy and yet— I know better.
Here’s what I know: laziness doesn’t exist — what you think of as lazy is actually a freeze response from your nervous system.
🧠 What Is “Freeze”?
Our nervous system is wired with four main survival modes:
- Fight: Confront the threat
- Flight: Escape the threat
- Freeze: Shut down to conserve energy
- Fawn: People-please to stay safe
When your body perceives a threat that feels too big to fight or run from, it chooses freeze — a full-body “pause” response that allows your body to shut down to conserve your energy, until a time when it is safe to mobilize your energy again. Essentially, freeze is the highest activation of your nervous system. Think of it as overstimulation.
In this state, your nervous system says:
“It’s too much. The safest thing right now is to stop.”
You also know you’re in a freeze response if you feel:
- Exhausted but unable to rest
- Foggy, detached, or numb (I felt the brain fog kick in.)
- Guilty for not doing enough
- Paralyzed by decisions or tasks
But here’s the thing most people, including you, may not understand, freeze is not a lack of willpower — it’s your body’s way of protecting you.
⚡ Real-Life Examples of Freeze (which feel like “laziness”)
Have you experienced any of these symptoms?
- Sitting on the couch scrolling for hours, unable to start a task you care about.
- Feeling overwhelmed at work and zoning out instead of taking action.
- Avoiding emails or messages because even small decisions feel too heavy.
- Wanting rest but never feeling recharged because your body is still on high alert.
If you’ve ever thought, “I know what to do, I just can’t do it,” — that’s not laziness.
That’s your nervous system stuck in freeze.
🌿 How to Gently Move Out of the Freeze Response
Unfortunately, you can’t “think” your way out of freeze. It’s not a mindset problem, it’s over-activation issue.
The way forward is to work with your nervous system, understanding what your nervous system in freeze truly needs.
1. Start with Compassion, Not Criticism
The first step towards thawing freeze is to stop labeling yourself as lazy.
Ask yourself instead:
“What is my body protecting me from right now?”
When you respond with curiosity instead of shame, you shift your body toward safety — the foundation for taking Aligned Action.
Example:
Instead of “I’m such a procrastinator,” try,
“My body must feel overwhelmed. What would help me feel a little safer to begin?”
2. Orient to Safety
Your nervous system needs signals that it’s safe to move again. Try simple grounding techniques:
- Look around and name five things you see — brings you to the present moment
- Feel your feet press into the floor — grounds your body
- Take a slow inhale and a longer exhale — regulates your nervous system
Safety reactivates movement. Presence melts paralysis.
3. Move Gently — Don’t Force Action
Freeze lifts gradually, not instantly. Start with small, doable actions that send your body the message, “I’m safe to move.”
Micro-movement examples:
- Open the document (no pressure to write).
- Wash one dish.
- Stretch your arms or shake your hands.
Easy-doable wins rebuild trust with your nervous system — and that trust turns into momentum.
4. Create Predictable Structure
The freeze response thrives in chaos. Structure calms it.
Try creating gentle routines:
- Create a system for essential tasks.
- Break large tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
- Schedule rest intentionally — not as an afterthought.
Predictability equals safety.
I used this technique when I was a special education teacher. I created a replicable system where I had a template for emailing teachers, scheduling meetings, asking for team members input etc. Creating systems helped me conquer my freeze response of procrastination in coordinating meetings and writing IEPs.
5. Regulate Before You Motivate
You can’t motivate your way out of freeze.
You must regulate first.
Soothing tools that help unfreeze your body:
- Exhale slowly through your mouth
- Hum, sway, or listen to calming music
- Placing a hand over your heart or stomach
- Connect with someone safe — a friend, therapist, or pet
Once your body feels safe, your motivation naturally returns.
In my experience with freeze, my body needs to completely shut down/off for about 60-90 secs before it can return to the present moment feeling energized for action. What does this look like? Usually it involves me curling into a fetal position or folding forward and surrendering into this position for the full 90 seconds. Like clockwork, my body rebounds, fully up and running again, ready for action.
On occasion, my body needs longer periods of rest and sensory deprivation (quiet and darkness). Usually, I’ll use this time to do longer visual meditations releasing stuck energy or emotions from my body.
I’m not perfect in recognizing when I’m in a freeze response or at thwarting shame. I still catch myself and my ego going down the dark rabbit hole of limiting beliefs, BUT once I do, I give my nervous system and body what it needs in order to process the freeze in my system.
To conquer that Saturday freeze, I needed a day to deprive my senses, to meditate and have a nice cathartic cry in order to bounce back and tackle my to-do list.
💬 Have You Shamed Yourself for Feeling Lazy?
When have you felt shame come online for being “lazy”. Are there certain tasks you avoid or procrastinate on regularly? What has helped you to move through the “laziness”?
The next time you feel “lazy”, remind yourself:
“I’m not lazy, I’m in freeze. I’m protecting myself. And I can move again — gently, at my own pace.”
Healing from freeze isn’t about pushing harder.
It’s about listening to your body and giving it what it needs. 💛
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