Live Bigley

It is the question I posed while somatically processing my parent’s divorce.  For almost 30 years, I’ve seen the world and processed it through the lens of coming from a broken, disrupted home. When my parents separated, my sense of safety and security shattered. From that moment onward, I developed a core limiting belief, My St*ck: I’m not lovable. 

 I’m not lovable. 

It has clouded my judgement in decision making across all areas of my life: career, relationships, friendships, leisure etc. 

I’m not lovable. 

If I didn’t believe I was lovable, it was certainly hard to convince partners to believe it too. 

I’m not lovable. 

Because I’m not lovable I believed I deserved to be alone. 

I’m not lovable. 

I believed I deserved to be unfulfilled in my job.

I’m not lovable. 

I am destined to live a lack-luster life, compromising my Truth and out of alignment with my Authentic Self. 

But suddenly, at this moment in time, I was given an opportunity to Free My St*ck. 

Who would I be without I’m not lovable constantly looming in the back of my psyche?

I’d be empowered to pursue a romantic relationship without fear.

Who would I be without I’m not lovable?

I’d be self-assured in pursuing the dreams that are written on my heart. 

Who would I be without I’m not lovable?

I’d be living life in alignment with My Authentic Self.

Who would I be without I’m not lovable?

I’d express myself unabashedly. 

Who would I be without I’m not lovable?

I’d trust myself, my decisions, my timing, my Truth. 

I was sick and tired of carrying the burden of My St*ck any longer. I was ready to Free My St*ck!

I Freed My St*ck by using body felt sensations to rewire my nervous system. While it can look differently session to session, for the most part my processing goes like this:

1. Name My Trigger/ My St*ck Behavior: I briefly reflect on My Trigger, the people, situation surrounding My Trigger I experienced within my week. Sometimes I start by  identifying My St*ck Behavior.

This particular week, I watched how I clammed up when someone tried to flirt with me, showing potentially romantic interest. Upon reflection, I had an overwhelming feeling I needed to release My St*ck, I’m not lovable. 

1. Describe My Body Felt Sensations: I describe where in the body I feel this activation, and describe it in terms of “color, texture, taste, smell, or visuals.” Usually my body felt sensations show up as visuals and I describe what is in my mind’s eye when I tune into the part of my body that is active. 

My St*ck, I’m not lovable, showed up in my solar plexus. It was represented by a very large evergreen tree growing from my belly button up through my central channel— my chakras. 

1. Free My St*ck: Typically, I ask if this is my wound or if it is someone else’s. Sometimes, it’s my parent’s wound. Sometimes it’s an ancestral wound. Every so often, it is a past life wound. Whose ever wound it is, I ask my body if I can release it, let it go or put it down. Or in some instances it wants to transform. 

The gnarly evergreen tree was my wound and it was ready to be chopped down. So I visualized my little self chopping down the tree to the tune of “Non, je ne regrette rein” a very recognizable French ballad by Edith Piaf that translates to “No, I don’t regret anything.” 

Once it was chopped down, the roots wanted to be alchemized. I visualized the roots being absorbed through my thighs. All that was left was very fertile soil ready for planting. 

1. Feel to Heal: I allow my feelings to be expressed and felt. Sometimes it’s intense, sometimes it’s subtle. 

In this instance, I expressed grief and sadness through wailing. It was guttural. It was primal. Think ugly crying. But it lasted only for a minute. 

Pro Tip: If you allow your body to express your suppressed emotions, they typically only last for 60-90 seconds before they dissipate. 

By tapping in the somatic, body felt sensations of My St*ck, I was able to release the stuck energy, rewrite my limiting belief, and rewire my nervous system to believe love is safe. I now operate from the belief that, not only am I lovable but I know I deserve love that truly feels aligned with My Authentic Self. 

If you’re tired of carrying Your St*ck—of living beneath the weight of a belief that isn’t in alignment with who you want to be—it’s time to Free Your St*ck. Your St*ck doesn’t define you. Your capacity to feel, heal, and rewire does.

Get curious. Notice your Your St*ck and Your St*ck Behavior. Tune into your body. Ask these deeper questions:

✨ Who would you be without Your St*ck?
✨ What truths are waiting for you as you Take Aligned Action?
✨ What life is possible when you begin to aligned with Your Authentic Self?

You don’t have to Free Your St*ck alone. Reach out to me for guided support. Take that next step—Your Authentic Self is waiting.